The 50 Greatest Wario Ware Microgames

first_imgStay on target Trade In Your Nintendo Switch For a Better Battery (With a Catch)Controller Patent Teases SNES Games on Switch Wario Ware Gold drops this week, as Nintendo returns Mario’s nemesis to his natural habitat: the world of short attention span microgames that increase in speed and difficulty until your brain dribbles out of your ears. Gold has a whopping 300 little games in it, both new offerings and reruns from older titles. To celebrate this bounty, we decided to replay and rank the top 50 microgames from Wario Ware history.We’re not going to go into fantastic detail about most of these because the whole point of Wario Ware is to keep it short and snappy, but this is the definitive ranking of microgames across the series. Argue with us at your peril.Super Wario Bros.As one of the first microgames in the original Wario Ware, this clued you in right away on the kind of game you were playing: a ridiculous funhouse mirror version of Nintendo’s classic gameplay.AlignmentA weirdly realistic Wario makes this Twisted minigame about straightening out his spine that much more disturbing. You’re not licensed to practice chiropractic medicine in this state!Apple ShrapnelOne of many “mash the button as fast as you can” microgames, this one is oddly satisfying as you use the gold-crazed Wario’s brute strength to crush fruit with your bare hands.Wrap SheetSome of our favorite microgames are ones that simulate everyday activities that you’d ordinarily never get to do in a video game, like this bubble wrap popping bit from Wario Ware: Touched.Driver’s EdThis bite-sized Smooth Moves driving game puts you behind the wheel for just long enough to dodge away from trees and animals in the road.Forced FeedingPulling alien cheeks to get them to open up for food isn’t something that we’d ever consider for a game, but it’s fun as hell in Twisted.Nail CallPounding down a nail with a hammer is the perfect mix of satisfaction and aggravation, and this microgame has appeared multiple times in the Wario Ware series.Temple TrapSorting through the enormous legion of downloadable minigames made with Wario Ware D.I.Y. was a daunting task, but this one definitely stood out.Dungeon DilemmaThe “boss games” are longer and harder than the regular microgames, and one of our favorite came at the end of Orbulon’s original stage, which transformed a Wizardry-esque dungeon crawler into a test of button mashing timing.Peak-a-boo-booRipping off bandages is a pain that we’ve all suffered, but in Wario Ware Twisted the mysterious Fronk would sometimes make you turn your Game Boy Advance to swiftly expose a wounded knee.Wet Your WhistleWho knew that drinking water could be so dramatic? This Smooth Moves minigame made you tilt the Wii Remote to steadily deliver fluid down a man’s throat, with unpredictable and bizarre results.Worm SquirmWhen this microgame starts, you’re confronted with a group of wriggly worms around a puddle and you need to figure out which one you control and get it into the water.Urban ChampionWidely regarded as one of the worst first-party NES games, somehow Urban Champion becomes much more fun in much smaller increments as you move the D-pad to block punches and strike back at your thuggish foe.BirdcicleThere’s something oddly comforting about using the DS stylus to line up ice blocks for the cute little penguin to trundle across the frozen river on.Pumped PoserA common microgame genre is “imitate this shape,” and this beefy bodybuilder-themed entry is one of the best examples of the form (no pun intended).MoleFrom Game & Wario, this required you to count the blemishes on a person’s face in a short period of time, made more difficult by flies and bugs crawling around masquerading as moles.Spirit SpotPassers-by walk in front of mirrors and you need to identify the one that doesn’t have a reflection and tap them to exorcise the ghost. Oddly fun.Find My BehindThe weird Fronks are sort of the unofficial Wario Ware mascots, and this game – where you have to use spatial reasoning to match the front of one to the back – is a solid contender.Cyclone KickThere’s something very satisfying about this Twisted minigame that has you tilting the Game Boy Advance to make Wario kick away a horde of faceless foes.Secret IngredientMoving the Wiimote back and forth to reduce a cell phone, safe or even the entire planet Earth into shreds for a recipe is absurdly fun.Wario’s AdventureThe first “boss minigame” of the series, this super-simplified side-scroller has returned in several of the series’ installments. It’s got a goofy, primitive graphical style that we love.Paper PlaneOne of the few microgames that also has a “full” version, steering a paper airplane through obstacles is about as simple as games get, but still weirdly amusing.Crack DownAs a defenseless bird toting around an egg almost as big as her body, you need to jump right when the mallet hits the ground to keep it from cracking. This one was also seen as a Super Smash Bros stage.Shave The WorldAnother Twisted game, this one had you wielding a massive electric razor and using it to buzzcut the continents and oceans off the Earth to reveal messages written on the rock below.Face FinderAnother solid Orbulon game, this one has you hunting down a little pixel figure who matches a specified set of facial features.Wario Dance CompanyThis boss game from Smooth Moves is both difficult and unsettling, as the buns of the four dancing figures pulse in time with the music and when you screw up their bizarre featureless Wario faces glare at you in horror.Pet PeevedIt’s like Whack-A-Mole, but instead of bopping burrowing rodents on the dome with hammers you’re petting adorable kitty cats. Definitely an improvement.Power ChordMany of the best Wario Ware minigames use music as their starting point, and this gleefully idiotic one from Touched has you strumming your stylus to motivate a heavy metal concert to bang their heads.Punch OutActual games of Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out were arduous affairs of waiting and dodging. Reducing it to microgame duration makes the whole experience much more fun.B. FightTrue heads know that the “Balloon Trip” mode of NES game Balloon Fight has not only one of the best soundtracks in console history but also expert design. This bite-sized version is just as good.Farm HandsAshley’s food-themed games are a highlight of Wario Ware D.I.Y., and one of the best involves tapping hands to squeeze the correct udder and fill a pail with milk.ChiritorieBefore Nintendo made video games they dabbled in all sorts of stuff, like a remote controlled vacuum cleaner called the Chiritorie. Control it once more in this minigame.Pushing ButtonsThis bizarre but amusing meta-microgame from Touched had players rotating 3D models of Nintendo handheld consoles to press the indicated button.RaaaarrrrggghhMoving a giant monster to scare away throngs of helpless citizens is a mechanism that could be a full game, but it’s just as fun in five second increments.He Who Smelt ItWaving the Wiimote to disperse the noxious clouds of fart gas billowing from Wario’s ass is a perfect encapsulation of everything this series is about.Tuft It OutPulling out ingrown hairs is pretty gross, but using the DS’s touch screen and stylus to do it was bizarrely fun in this Mona minigame from Touched.Stop That!Wario is an essentially annoying idividual, so this D.I.Y. game that has you flicking rocks at a poor schmuck running by is very aesthetic.Shake!One of the weirdest things that happened in the original Wario Ware was when you got to Dr. Crygor’s games and the familiar pixel graphics were replaced by bizarre low-res digitzed photographs. Shake! had you tapping the button to shake paws with a dog, and if you missed the dog cried.Praise Or HazeA game where you insult people (or compliment them)? It’s like a dream come true, especially if you can read quickly.Maze MaestroThis clever D.I.Y. downloadable has you evaluating three different mazes rapidly to tap the one that’s solvable. It’s a clever gimmick that’s just hard enough.Stab In The DarkFending off silent samurai who try to impale you is a remarkably deep experience, as they feint and fake you out, requiring the player to pay close attention.Rainbow JuiceFill a dancing bucket up with drops of colorful juice from a rainbow! No, there’s nothing weird about this at all, why do you ask? The effect when it tips over is a deeply sad thing.Funky FountainOkay, so the thing you’re spraying with water from a curiously bidet-like fountain is supposed to be some kind of pinwheel, but it really looks like a butthole. It’s amazing that they managed to sneak this game by Nintendo.Nighttime AllergiesPost-nasal drip isn’t a topic that many video games have dared to tackle, but Wario Ware let you hammer the A button to suck that snot back into a pretty anime girl’s nose so she could enjoy her vacation at the beach.Hot Dog HogThis iconic microgame has the player tap the A button to close Wario’s open gob on a hot dog, requiring multiple bites to choke down to successfully complete it.Hot FlashIt’s a game where you have to rapidly strip off Wario’s clothes so he doesn’t get too sweaty. How could it not rank highly on this list? Stupid sexy Wario.Clog ItCan an entertaining and challenging digital experience be created based around unrolling an entire roll of toilet tissue to obstruct the plumbing? The answer is yes.Extreme Patty-CakeThis ridiculous game from Smooth Moves has you violently thrust the Wiimote forward to knock the poor schmuck you’re patty-caking right on their ass.Gold DiggerOne of the most notorious microgames in the catalog, this one appeared in the first installment and has returned several times since. It’s another timed button press game, where the goal is to drive the extended finger (or fingers) deep into the nostrils to pull out juicy boogers.PyoroI can’t even begin to count the number of hours I wasted on this after unlocking it in the original Wario Ware. It’s a relentlessly addictive action game that has you flicking your tongue at falling fruit until one bonks you on the noggin.If you enjoyed looking back on Wii’s WarioWare you’ll also dig revisiting some of our other favorite consoles. Let us know what you like about Geek by taking our survey.last_img

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